Pastor Chad Estes interviews Jeff & Marcy Towner
about why they joined a Discipleship Group
Chad: As I remember it, Jeff, you
called me after your first or second visit to the Vineyard.
Jeff: First visit. I called the church to
find out if the Vineyard had small groups of any kind. They said that one of the guys on
staff was just starting a new group and forwarded the call to you. As it happened your
group was starting the next week. It was great timing!
Chad: Had you been involved in small
groups before coming to the Vineyard?
Jeff: Yes, we moved here from out of
town and we had enjoyed the groups that we had been a part of in the past. It was
important to us to find a church who met in small groups.
Marcy: We could see by the size of
the church that there was no way that we would get to know people unless we were involved
in something smaller than the Sunday service.
Jeff: We loved the church service,
especially the worship. We felt like we were the only people there, just God and us.
Marcy: But when it came to meeting
people, a thousand other people can be intimidating in one room. We needed to find
something more intimate to develop relationships.
Chad: What happened the first time
you showed up for the Discipleship Group?
Jeff: I remember driving by the
house during the day to make sure I knew where I was going that night!
Marcy: We were the first people at
group that evening and we assumed that we would be the only people who didn't know someone
else. But most of the people were like us; they were just starting the group too.
Jeff: We knew that there would be
some initial awkwardness, but even that went away quickly.
Chad: Who showed up to the group
that night?
Marcy: We had a real variety of
people. There were single people, young people, two middle-aged couples with kids the same
ages as ours, two couples with young children. It wasn't geared to a specific group.
Jeff: It really was a real diverse
group.
Chad: I think a group like that
seems more like a family than when everyone is in the same place in life.
Marcy: Oh, it does. In your own
family you are not all alike or have the same things going on in your life. It is good to
have younger and older, married and single people mixing together.
Chad: How long before you both felt
comfortable with the group?
Jeff: It probably happened with me
quicker than it did with Marcy because of my personality. One of the things I remember is
that we broke the guys and the gals into different rooms one night. This put me more at
ease to share about my life and open up with others. I think the same thing happened for
Marcy with the gals.
Marcy: It always takes time to
develop trust with a group of people, but it happened fairly quickly because other people
were open about their lives too. At the time we were studying a book about grace. Each
week we had some direct questions that always seemed to pertain to what someone was going
through.
Jeff: The group went beyond the
surface issues to real life. I felt they understood us, and didn't judge us for the areas
we were attempting to grow in.
Marcy: It also helped that we joined
with people that we didn't know and that gave us an opportunity to start over. People were
caring and accepted us where we were. We had just gone through a big move, were lonely,
and needed some new friends.
Chad: How has your Discipleship
Group opened up opportunities for you?
Marcy: People in the group help each
other out. We've built fences together, planted yards and painted a house together. We are
there for each other when needs arise.
Jeff: There is always meals being
delivered to families with new babies or for anyone in the hospital. Also, I know that if
it hadn't of been for the other guys in the group I wouldn't have gone to the Men's
Retreat. You want a buddy, and I went with several.
Marcy: We also wouldn't have helped
out at the Feeding God's Children ministry in the park because it was a ministry that we
weren't familiar with. Tim & Tempe invited our group to go and now we all go once a
month.
Chad: Now one of the Nampa groups
meets in your home each week.
Jeff: Yes, it is the highlight of
our week!
Marcy: It's always a rush to get
home from work and get things ready, but by the time people start arriving, it means so
much. The week before we first attended the Vineyard a gentleman had a word of knowledge
for us that our home would be filled with warmth and people would be drawn to it. At the
time it seemed strange because we had just moved to Nampa, we had no friends and no church
family. Then just a year later our house was filled with people that we loved and that
loved us.
Chad: How would you encourage
someone who has never attended a Discipleship Group to come for the first time?
Jeff: You don't have to prepare to
go to group, just show up. We won't embarrass them. We just welcome them and let them join
in where they feel comfortable. If our group doesn't work for them, there are a lot of
other great ones out there!
Find a Place to Belong
Trying to find a Discipleship Group close to your
neighborhood on a night you have free? Download a copy of The
Wine Press online!
