This year I promise to do … I really want to …
Oh my, maybe I won't make any resolutions this year after all—I never
keep them anyway. It's just too hard!
Have you ever felt like this? I
have—many times. Yet I've also learned New Year's is a great time to
reassess the influence my actions and attitudes have on my children's
character development. Here are five resolutions I know I need to keep
this year:
1. To reach someone who doesn't
know Christ
Perhaps like me, you're tempted to
spend all your time with fellow Christians—people just like you. After
all, if you want your kids to grow in the faith, you need to expose them
to people of faith! Yet at the same time, God commands us to be salt and
light in the world (Matthew 5:13-16); that won't happen if we spend all
our time with believers.
Will your kids be likely to reach out
to non-Christians when they grow up? You bet—if they see it modeled for
them in your life.
For example, my friend Sandy took an
active interest in a neighbor named Carol. Sandy invited Carol over for
lunch, and took her to a craft show. Although Carol and her husband
didn't have children, Sandy included her in things she did with her
kids. Carol and her husband weren't believers and didn't attend church,
but out of curiosity, they soon began attending with their new friends.
After a period of time, both Carol and her husband became believers. It
all began because Sandy was intent on reaching out in genuine friendship
to non-believers—and her kids saw the results.
This year, resolve to befriend someone
who's not a Christian. She may be a coworker, neighbor, your child's
teacher, even your hair stylist.
While reaching out feels scary, when
you take the risk, you'll see God work through you in exciting ways!
2. To become a grateful person
I used to wake up in the morning
thinking about all the things I had to do and all the people who needed
me. I got depressed before I even got out of bed! I realized I needed an
attitude adjustment. So I started meditating on one of God's character
traits the moment I awoke. As I lay quietly in my bed, thinking about
how awesome God is, my perspective on the day changed dramatically!
No one enjoys being around whining
kids. But when they're grateful, it's delightful. In the same way, when
we appreciate God, it thrills his heart.
My friend Elaine says, "The practice
of thanksgiving is the discipline that helps us experience God's love."
Re member, your kids catch your attitude. If you whine, they'll be more
likely to complain. If you always see the negative, your kids will focus
on what's lacking. Your disposition permeates the atmosphere of your
home. Do you want to raise positive kids? Then re solve to become a
woman of gratitude. You'll have a positive impact on generations to
come.
3. To spend more quality time with
my spouse
My husband, John, and I used to have a
wonderful raspberry patch. In the early years I carefully tended it, and
it produced prolific crops. Then I got busy with carpools and
commitments, and before I knew it, weeds took over and my raspberries
died out.
A marriage can become like my
raspberry patch. We get busy with kids, career, church, elderly parents,
and volunteer needs. We think, I'll spend time on my marriage when life
calms down. The problem is, life never does.
Don't let the weeds of "other
important things"—even your children—choke your marriage. Resolve to
nurture it. This year, ask the question, What can I do to help my
husband and I grow closer together? Begin by making a commitment to a
weekly date together—an evening, a breakfast, an afternoon.
Keep in mind, your children's sense of
security is built on the knowledge you love them, but it greatly
increases when they know you love their dad. You're raising future
husbands and wives who need to know a happy marriage takes time. If they
see you nurturing yours, they'll learn a tremendous lesson.
4. To say "no" to something!
Okay, we all know there are simply too
many demands, too many choices, and too little time. But part of
maturing means learning to postpone something you'd really like to do
now to another season of life in order to focus on something even more
important. Maybe it's that career opportunity so you can have more time
with your children, or that outing with your friends so you're around
when your teens have their friends at your house. Maybe you need to say
"no" to your kids being in yet another sports team so your family can
have dinner together.
Ask yourself, in 10 years, what will
matter most—that you signed your child up for yet another activity and
spent evenings apart, or said "no" and had family dinners together? Or
that you participated in yet another committee, or said "no" so you
could spend more time with your husband?
5. To pursue Christ with fresh
vigor
Do you sometimes feel as though your
relationship with Christ is stale? I sure do. But when that happens, I
pray King David's prayer, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and
grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me" (Psalm 51:12).
As this new year begins, resolve to
recapture that joy. Vary what you normally do for your time alone with
God. Decide on a new topic for Bible study. Begin a fresh journal.
If you make some changes but still
feel stale, ask God to show you the reason. Is there sin in your life
you're ignoring? A wrong relationship, self-pity, jealousy? The writer
to the Hebrews encourages us to "throw off everything that hinders and
the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the
race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus" (12:1-2). That's
one resolution you can't afford to break!
Susan Alexander
Yates is the author of several books, including How to Like the Ones You
Love: Building Family Friendships for Life (Baker Books).
Copyright © 2001,
Christianity Today, Inc./Today's Christian Woman magazine.
