Do you want to know what the key to a successful marriage is?  Keep reading and I’ll let you know.  But first, I want to talk about what’s happening with marriage ministries at Vineyard Boise over the next year.

Marriage on Purpose will begin its fourth year this month and we are excited about the different events we have planned for this season.  This Friday we will kick things off with “Marriage and Finances”, presented by Jim and Amelitta Boyd.  If financial stewardship is a challenging topic for you—I know it is in my household from time to time—then you’ll definitely want to join us (see the announcement in the bulletin for details).

Some of the other topics we have lined up include: Honoring and cherishing your spouse in October and prayer in November.  We also plan to have another event where we have a few couples take the stage to share some incredible stories of God’s providence in the midst of difficult circumstances.  Many of you responded that the testimony event we had earlier this year, “When for Better or Worse Seems Worse”, was very relevant to your marriage.  And, of course, we will have the annual Valentine’s Banquet in February and I think it will be the best yet.  If you have any suggestions for topics you’d like to see presented, please drop us a line and let us know.

If you have never been to Marriage on Purpose, I strongly encourage you to come and check it out.  Better yet, bring some friends with you.  Marriage, and the challenges that come with it, is something we have in common with many of our pre-churched friends.  Marriage on Purpose provides a great opportunity to meet the practical needs of others who might not be willing to come to a service on Sunday morning.  In fact, if you let us know when you register that you would like a ticket for a pre-churched couple, we will give it to you free of charge.  One thing I learned from Vineyard Leadership Institute is that evangelism should be a part of every ministry so we are looking for ways to reach out beyond ourselves and build bridges in areas where we share common ground.

This fall we plan to start marriage home groups.  These groups are designed to be short-term opportunities for married couples to meet together in small groups to learn biblical principles as well as practical tools for enhancing their marriages.  They are not intended to replace regular, longer-term discipleship groups but rather to serve as a companion ministry for couples who want to take some time to focus specifically on their marriage.  The typical commitment is anywhere from 6-10 weeks depending on the course.  They are also a great opportunity to meet new friends.  Sharon and I still keep in touch with some of the couples who came to our marriage groups several years ago.  Stay tuned at the end of the article for information on how you can get involved.

Marriage classes are another option that we plan to offer couples.  These classes will be designed for couples who are really committed to dig deeper and build a solid marriage.  They will involve reading and homework assignments to reinforce the material that is covered during the class itself.  We are tentatively planning to conduct a class using the materials from “His Needs, Her Needs” and “Love Busters” by Dr. Willard Harley.  If you attend Marriage on Purpose in May then you got a preview of what will be covered in the class.

Now, to answer the question about the key to a successful marriage:  Interestingly enough, it’s the same thing we must do when we begin an authentic Christian walk:  Die to self.  Were you expecting something more profound?  It’s such a simple concept but so very difficult to practice.  You’ve heard it said that “love is a choice” and this statement is very true.  One of the mysteries of love is that when you choose to love someone the feelings will follow.  When you die to self and make a conscious choice to love your spouse by seeking to meet their needs instead of your own—as many of us do quite frequently—the emotions will follow.  When a person receives this kind of sacrificial love, the natural reaction is to respond in a similar fashion.

It is said that the longest distance between any two points is the distance between the head and the heart.  Making sure you have the right head knowledge and then helping you put what you know into practice is what we’ve endeavored to do at Marriage on Purpose and what we will continue to strive toward in other marriage ministries as we grow this year.

Over the past few years there have been several movies and TV episodes where the plot involved a large asteroid or comet hurtling toward earth on a collision course.  The consequence of the impact varied from a new ice age to complete annihilation of all life on earth.  In other words, the predicted outcome was really going to be inconvenient.  The solution to the problem usually involved changing the course of the projectile before it got too close to earth.  This is a good metaphor for marriage.  If we can identify and resolve problems early on, we can often avoid painful disasters.  That’s what we want to achieve through marriage ministries.  We want to partner with you to help you understand the issues and provide you with the tools and encouragement to help you resolve them before they lead to an ice age in your marriage.

I am excited about the upcoming season and my prayer is that many couples would receive a similar sense of excitement and anticipation for their marriages.  I have truly enjoyed and been blessed by both the laughter and the tears at past marriage events and I look forward to sharing many more such times together.  I want to see marriage ministries build a deeper sense of community and fellowship here at Vineyard Boise.  I see these ministries as avenues for couples to get to know each other better, encourage each other through difficult circumstances, share each other’s joys during the good times, and build lasting relationships.

Several years ago the Holy Spirit showed me that I had been very selfish with my time when it came to serving God.  I didn’t really know where to get involved at the time so I asked Him to show me where the need was.  The answer was marriage ministries.  I checked my mental lists of “Things I Might Like to Do” and “Things I Feel Qualified to Do” but I didn’t find marriage ministries on either one.  In fact, when I considered my own marriage and my performance as a husband I felt downright unqualified.  But, I was fairly sure of what I had heard so I prayed it over with my wife (Sharon) and we decided to start a Marriage Builders home group.  This is what eventually led to our involvement in Marriage on Purpose when Pastor Joe saw one of our ads in the Church Chat board and invited us to be a part of it.  Sharon and I have both been blessed by what we have seen God do through Marriage on Purpose for so many marriages, including our own.  Thank God that He does not require us to be perfect before He can use us.

If you have a heart to serve God through marriage ministries, please pray about it and contact us.  We’d love to talk to you about where you can be involved.  We have a need for a few couples to join the Marriage on Purpose task force and help us out with our monthly events.  We are also looking for couples to host or lead marriage home groups.  Commitment levels are flexible and we will do our best to accommodate your needs.  We would be happy to welcome couples who have imperfect marriages too.  You can contact us at mop@vineyardboise.org or you can call Greg Prosch at 321-7072.  Also, please feel free to contact us if you have any questions, comments or suggestions.  We’d love to hear from you.