Do you want to know what the key to a successful
marriage is? Keep reading and I’ll let you
know. But first, I want to talk about what’s
happening with marriage ministries at Vineyard
Boise over the next year.
Marriage on Purpose will begin its fourth year
this month and we are excited about the
different events we have planned for this
season. This Friday we will kick things off
with “Marriage and Finances”, presented by Jim
and Amelitta Boyd. If financial stewardship is
a challenging topic for you—I know it is in my
household from time to time—then you’ll
definitely want to join us (see the announcement
in the bulletin for details).
Some of the other topics we have lined up
include: Honoring and cherishing your spouse in
October and prayer in November. We also plan to
have another event where we have a few couples
take the stage to share some incredible stories
of God’s providence in the midst of difficult
circumstances. Many of you responded that the
testimony event we had earlier this year, “When
for Better or Worse Seems Worse”, was very
relevant to your marriage. And, of course, we
will have the annual Valentine’s Banquet in
February and I think it will be the best yet.
If you have any suggestions for topics you’d
like to see presented, please drop us a line and
let us know.
If you have never been to Marriage on Purpose, I
strongly encourage you to come and check it
out. Better yet, bring some friends with you.
Marriage, and the challenges that come with it,
is something we have in common with many of our
pre-churched friends. Marriage on Purpose
provides a great opportunity to meet the
practical needs of others who might not be
willing to come to a service on Sunday morning.
In fact, if you let us know when you register
that you would like a ticket for a pre-churched
couple, we will give it to you free of charge.
One thing I learned from Vineyard Leadership
Institute is that evangelism should be a part of
every ministry so we are looking for ways to
reach out beyond ourselves and build bridges in
areas where we share common ground.
This fall we plan to start marriage home
groups. These groups are designed to be
short-term opportunities for married couples to
meet together in small groups to learn biblical
principles as well as practical tools for
enhancing their marriages. They are not
intended to replace regular, longer-term
discipleship groups but rather to serve as a
companion ministry for couples who want to take
some time to focus specifically on their
marriage. The typical commitment is anywhere
from 6-10 weeks depending on the course. They
are also a great opportunity to meet new
friends. Sharon and I still keep in touch with
some of the couples who came to our marriage
groups several years ago. Stay tuned at the end
of the article for information on how you can
get involved.
Marriage classes are another option that we plan
to offer couples. These classes will be
designed for couples who are really committed to
dig deeper and build a solid marriage. They
will involve reading and homework assignments to
reinforce the material that is covered during
the class itself. We are tentatively planning
to conduct a class using the materials from “His
Needs, Her Needs” and “Love Busters” by Dr.
Willard Harley. If you attend Marriage on
Purpose in May then you got a preview of what
will be covered in the class.
Now, to answer the question about the key to a
successful marriage: Interestingly enough, it’s
the same thing we must do when we begin an
authentic Christian walk: Die to self. Were
you expecting something more profound? It’s
such a simple concept but so very difficult to
practice. You’ve heard it said that “love is a
choice” and this statement is very true. One of
the mysteries of love is that when you choose to
love someone the feelings will follow. When you
die to self and make a conscious choice to love
your spouse by seeking to meet their needs
instead of your own—as many of us do quite
frequently—the emotions will follow. When a
person receives this kind of sacrificial love,
the natural reaction is to respond in a similar
fashion.
It is said that the longest distance between any
two points is the distance between the head and
the heart. Making sure you have the right head
knowledge and then helping you put what you know
into practice is what we’ve endeavored to do at
Marriage on Purpose and what we will continue to
strive toward in other marriage ministries as we
grow this year.
Over the past few years there have been several
movies and TV episodes where the plot involved a
large asteroid or comet hurtling toward earth on
a collision course. The consequence of the
impact varied from a new ice age to complete
annihilation of all life on earth. In other
words, the predicted outcome was really going to
be inconvenient. The solution to the problem
usually involved changing the course of the
projectile before it got too close to earth.
This is a good metaphor for marriage. If we can
identify and resolve problems early on, we can
often avoid painful disasters. That’s what we
want to achieve through marriage ministries. We
want to partner with you to help you understand
the issues and provide you with the tools and
encouragement to help you resolve them before
they lead to an ice age in your marriage.
I am excited about the upcoming season and my
prayer is that many couples would receive a
similar sense of excitement and anticipation for
their marriages. I have truly enjoyed and been
blessed by both the laughter and the tears at
past marriage events and I look forward to
sharing many more such times together. I want
to see marriage ministries build a deeper sense
of community and fellowship here at Vineyard
Boise. I see these ministries as avenues for
couples to get to know each other better,
encourage each other through difficult
circumstances, share each other’s joys during
the good times, and build lasting relationships.
Several years ago the Holy Spirit showed me that
I had been very selfish with my time when it
came to serving God. I didn’t really know where
to get involved at the time so I asked Him to
show me where the need was. The answer was
marriage ministries. I checked my mental lists
of “Things I Might Like to Do” and “Things I
Feel Qualified to Do” but I didn’t find marriage
ministries on either one. In fact, when I
considered my own marriage and my performance as
a husband I felt downright unqualified. But, I
was fairly sure of what I had heard so I prayed
it over with my wife (Sharon) and we decided to
start a Marriage Builders home group. This is
what eventually led to our involvement in
Marriage on Purpose when Pastor Joe saw one of
our ads in the Church Chat board and invited us
to be a part of it. Sharon and I have both been
blessed by what we have seen God do through
Marriage on Purpose for so many marriages,
including our own. Thank God that He does not
require us to be perfect before He can use us.
If you have a heart to serve God through
marriage ministries, please pray about it and
contact us. We’d love to talk to you about
where you can be involved. We have a need for a
few couples to join the Marriage on Purpose task
force and help us out with our monthly events.
We are also looking for couples to host or lead
marriage home groups. Commitment levels are
flexible and we will do our best to accommodate
your needs. We would be happy to welcome
couples who have imperfect marriages too. You
can contact us at
mop@vineyardboise.org or you can call Greg
Prosch at 321-7072. Also, please feel free to
contact us if you have any questions, comments
or suggestions. We’d love to hear from you.
